Blind Leading the Blind

category: Life
by Kamael,

Today I had coffee with a friend who is going through a difficult patch in life. She is bored with her job, is single and wants to lose ten pounds. I gave her the usual pep talk - this is a rough patch, learn from it, be strong, good times will come, you are a good person, blah blah blah. Suggested working less, finding a new job, even offered to review her resume. Told her I would go running with her, we would eat healthy together and that she doesn’t look overweight (which she doesn’t). But as I was walking home, I started asking myself - who the heck am I to be giving life advice to someone? I mean, my job is not my dream job, I am single and I totally want to lose the ten pounds I gained in 2007.

What makes my advice relevant? And when is it okay to give advice? Is this what people really need when they come to you to talk?

We can all learn from books how to be more effective, or how to be better in relationships - we can even learn how to be a the next cassanova. But there is no book out there on how to fix it all and get it all right.

Part of giving advice is understanding what someone else is going through - and that is often only because you went though it yourself. But to give advice that is really relevant to them - you have to really understand them - and the nuances of who they are. And how many of your friends can you truly say that about? It can’t be more than 5. To know someone that deeply that you can put yourself in their shoes and give advice taking into consideration who they are, not what you would do - is so difficult. It takes selflessness, many experiences and many many years.

Do I really know what I am doing in life? Probably not. But today I gave myself some great advice.

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